Claudia Lynch ShoeStories Animation
Each detailed ShoeStories™ painting is accompanied by an original story, loaded with witty puns and clever innuendo, narrated by a hard-boiled skirt chaser right out of a 1940s detective novel. Exaggerated proportions make each heel impossibly high and impossibly sexy. Right away, you’re in the mood to surrender to every tongue-in-cheek double meaning in the otherwise innocent words.

GICLEÉ PRINTS
Signed and matted (11" X 14"): $75
Originals are gouache + typewriter on watercolor paper

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Priority Mail $7.50 (flat fee)

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with questions, comments, or to purchase originals.

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WONDERING "Why a shoe? Why a typewriter?"

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ShoeStories™ 2015 Design Calendar/Coloring Book
Pictures + Stories by Claudia Lynch

ShoeStories 2015 Design Calendar/Coloring Book

$30

Santa's Pack #1
Santa's Pack #2
Santa's Pack #3

Santa wants to help make your holiday shopping SO much easier...and he won't mind a bit if you keep a little something for yourself!

Please order these special assortment packs from the Santa's Pack page.

 

ShoeStories™ Book
Pictures + Stories by Claudia Lynch

ShoeStories Book

$30

“Have you ever been
south of the border?”

“Not with you,” I said, running my finger around the edge of her serape.

“Then finish your tourist drink and let’s get out of here.”

Margarita Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

“Don’t even say it,” she sighed. “I’m such a cliché.”

Walking Away
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

She twirled, a bit unsteadily.

“You’ve...certainly come prepared,” I said.

Vintage Barware Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

 

She was still great looking.

She probably didn't have a stitch on beneath that Victorian getup of hers, but it was a chance I was more than willing to take.

Sewing Machine Shoe
Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

 

It was a crazy notion.

Everybody kept telling me so. They were probably right, but I couldn't help myself. I was on pins and needles just thinking about her.

Sewing Notions Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

 

Nothing about her fit the pattern, but that wasn't what was bothering me.

She'd kept me bobbin and weaving for over a week now, and I still didn't have anything I could pin on her.

Sewing Pattern Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

 

"If only I'd been thinking with my brain," she said, "instead of my heart, I'd have had the courage to leave this city a long time ago."

Dorothy (Wizard of Oz) Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

"I don't know what to do," she said.

Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

She had one annoying little habit I hadn't known about until last night, but I decided not to get too wound up about it.

Chattering Teeth Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Coming up to my place had been all her idea.

I could hardly believe it myself. She was a legend, for crying out loud.

Tooth Fairy Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

"What kind of doctor are you, anyway?"

I'd been trying to get her to open up a little, but she was nervous. That wasn't unusual.

What kind of Doctor Are You? Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

"Who dat!" she hollered, by way of "heads up" as she tossed me another beer. I caught the pass and hollered back, "Touchdown!". Anyone could tell these were not our first beers of the game.

ThiS aint so bad, I thought.

Saints Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Maybe our fate really was in the stars.

It certainly wasn’t in our cards. A fool could have seen that too much lay between us for she and I ever to become lovers.

Tarot Card Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Things were moving much too fast, and for me that was saying something.

I was sure we’d only just met, but she claimed to have known me forever. Either way, the messages I was getting were mixed: Yes, No, Yes, No, and some crazy words I couldn’t make out at all.

Ouija Board Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

To me the future meant next week, but that wasn’t what she was talking about. We weren’t exclusive, but since she’d just asked me where I saw our relationship going in the future, I had to figure she didn’t know that.

Crystal Ball Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

“You can rest when you’re dead,” she said. “It’s almost midnight; come on out!”

Day of the Dead (Man)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

“I’m dead on my feet,” she said. “My blisters have blisters and my bunions have bunions.”

Day of the Dead (Woman)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

She was cute and she was funny.

There had never been anything serious between us, but I looked forward to seeing her every time she came to town. She made me laugh. And I've always been a sucker for the big top. 

 

Clown Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

"You're wearing white?"

She blushed, and for some reason that encouraged me.

"How about a little hokey-pokey with the best man, for old times' sake?" I whispered.

Wedding Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

It had started out as just a holiday affair, something to keep the both of us alive druing the long, cold and exceptionally lonely holiday season.

Poinsettia Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Christmas Apron Shoe She'd spent weeks preparing a holiday surprise for me...I couldn't wait to see what she'd cooked up for me this year.

 

Christmas Apron Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Christmas Tree Shoe

"I don't know how you stand up in those things."

"Who said anything about standing up? This is a holiday."

Christmas Tree Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - New Year's Eve Shoe

The trouble with throwing a party is that it's nearly impossible to sneak out early.

 

 

Hint: The cards with this design would make fabulous party invitations!

New Years Eve Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Broken Ornament Shoe

Why had I let her slip through my fingers?

...If she was willing to forgive me,
and to try and pick up the pieces, I vowed never to be that careless again.

Broken Ornament Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Tomato Shoe (Pomodoro)

Those stems of hers went all the way up, and kept right on going.

As you can imagine, that wasn't either of the first two things I noticed about her.

Tomato Shoe — Pomodoro

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Salsa Shoe

I was in Cuba on business. The trip was dragging on longer than I'd planned, and on an impulse I decided to take a few salsa lessons to pass the lonely afternoons.

Tomato Shoe — Salsa

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Bloody Mary Shoe

"Can I take you to brunch on Sunday?"

..."If you get there first, go ahead and order me a salad in a glass."

Tomato Shoe — Bloody Mary

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Baseball Shoe

I couldn't say for sure which team she played for, but it was obvious she wasn't new to the game. It might be a stretch to think I'd ever score with her, or even get to first base.

Baseball Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Bare Foot Shoe

"It's too hot to sleep."

"That's fine with me, I said, throwing off the covers.

Barefoot Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Crossword puzzle Shoe

"You're clueless, aren't you?"

Maybe I was, but I was trying my best not to come across that way.

Crossword Puzzle Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Pisces Fishbowl Shoe It wasn't easy to tell where the artwork ended and the furniture began.

Pisces Shoe
(Fishbowl Shoe)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Gemini Thongs

There were two of them and only one of me.

...something about twins in thongs...

Gemini Shoe
(Twins in Thongs)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Taurus China Boot

I knew for a fact she was a lot less fragile than she looked.

She'd remembered my favorite color, and had it painted on from neck to toe, but I couldn't let that distract me.

Taurus Shoe
(Bull in a China Shoe)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Capricorn Shoe

"I don't want to do anything out of the ordinary," she said.

I had to wonder how that would be possible.

Capricorn Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Black Widow Shoe

I was dying to lose myself in those legs.

...She'd gotten rid of three husbands already. Maybe four.I was dying to lose myself in those legs.

Black Widow Spider Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Wormy Shoe

I'd come this close to picking her up.

Now that she'd shown me what she was really made of, the thought of touching her made my skin crawl.

Wormy Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Blonde Shoe

"It was dumb. I got a little carried away with the chorine bleach.”

This particular blonde was no airhead, so I was patently sure that it had been intentional.

Blonde Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Brunette Shoe

I was getting too old for this, and so was she.

“I’m open for anything,” she'd said, and there was evidence she meant it.

Brunette Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Redhead Shoe She was red throughout,
which is very rare in a steak,
and rarer still in a redhead.

Redhead Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Hurricane Shoe

"Let's go out and get a hurricane."

The invitation knocked the wind out of me. "Let's not, I said. "I still have quite a headache from that last one."

Hurricane Katrina Shoe
(Blue Roof)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Poodle Skirt Shoe

"You're old enough to be my-----."

...Of course I was old enough to be her "-----", but it's not the sort of thing a guy likes to hear.

Poodle Skirt Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Strappy Martini Shoe

"I really strapped one on last night."

..."I'm never sure," she said, "if it's a glass of gin that comes with its own snack or a snack that comes with a side of gin."

Strappy Martini
(Martini Shoe)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  French Flat

She had a sexy little flat
in the French Quarter.

French Flat

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Bourbon Street Shoe

"I bet you got your shoes on Bourbon Street."

"Best place for 'em," I said, and kept right on walking.

Bourbon Street Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Snow White Shoe

She'd taken a big bite out of my ego.

..."You're not exactly Snow White. Who died and left you queen?"...Of all the things I'd ever wanted to say to her, it was the fairest of them all.

Snow White Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories -  Greek Cup Shoe or Bagel Shoe

I wanted to do everything for her.

...I didn’t see how I could get through the morning --- much less the day --- without her.

Bagel & Coffee Shoe
(Greek Cup)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Chopsticks Shoe or Chinese Food Shoe

"You want chopsticks?"

You have no idea, I thought.

...Sometimes it was hard to believe my good fortune.

Chopsticks Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Waitress Shoe

"I've been waiting for you," she said.

By the looks of her that wasn’t strictly true, but I let it slide.

Waitress Shoe
(Greasy Spoon)

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Poodle Shoe

There wasn't going to be an easy way to tell her.

..."You've, um, got ..." I guess my face told the rest of the story, because she looked down and grabbed a napkin."Oh, poo!" she said.

Poodle Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Scottie Dog Shoe

She had a delightful brogue.

With her pedigree, it figured.

...If I could just get her to stay awhile, maybe my hopes for an evening of heavy petting would not be scotched.

Scottie Dog Brogue

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Carousel Shoe

I'd been tailing her for what seemed like hours.

...It was time to get off this merry-go-round and stop horsing around.

Carousel Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Dog & Pony Shoe

"Cute," she said, "but we both know I didn't come here for a dog and pony shoew."

Dog + Pony Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - No Heels Shoe

I cried because I had no shoes,
until I met a woman who had no heels.

No Heels Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Devil Shoe

I'd probably burn in hell for what I was about to do.

...I've always loved the feel of satan next to my skin.

Devil Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Angel Shoe

With a jewelry collection like hers, it was a safe bet this angel had fallen many times before. So why was she so interested in a poor devil like me?

Angel Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Leopard Boot

"Don't get your boots in a knot," I said.

...I hoped I'd be strong enough to tame her.

Leopard Boot

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Siamese Shoes

They were as close as sisters.

Closer. Maybe a little too close.

Siamese Shoes

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

>
Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Red Riding Hood Shoe

"Hello, Red. Nice outfit."

As she sashayed past, I let out a discreet whistle. In this neck of the woods, that was still considered a compliment.

Red Riding Hood Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Cinderella Shoe

"Hi, Handsome. I had a ball last night."

"Me too, Pumpkin." I was a little surprised to hear from her after her disappearing act the night before.

Cinderella Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Corset Shoe

I'd already spent days boning up on her case.

...The sooner I got the whole thing laced up, the better, even if it meant I had to pull a few strings to do it.

Corset Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Candy Box Shoe

For a girl with such a sweet heart, she had kind of a brassy exterior.

Candy Box Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Checkered Boot

I knew all about her checkered past.

..."I've been awfully lonely," she said, "since my last husband gave me the boot."

Checkered Boot

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Croquet Shoe

"You do know how to play, don't you?"

..."Relax," she whispered reassuringly into my ear. "Just give it a good strong whack."

Croquet Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Dart Shoe

It was a dart and stormy night...

...I would have watched her dart back and forth across the street all night.

Dart Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Candy Cane Shoe

"Wake me up when you get home. I'll have cookies and milk waiting."

...Sometimes I couldn't believe I was married to this woman. She really knew how to put the XXX in Xmas.

Candy Cane Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Sleigh Shoe

"Want to come up and see my toy collection?"

...She was as cute as a button and about as big. I had to wonder how long I'd be able to control mys elf.

Sleigh Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Reindeer Shoe

It was easy to forget she was just a two-bit hoofer.

...If you're not the lead reindeer, the view never changes.

Reindeer Shoe

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75

Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Christmas Stocking

I already knew what was in the stocking.

It was something I'd been wanting for an awfully long time.

Christmas Stocking

Signed, matted gicleé print: $75


ShoeStories™ Holiday Cards Click any card to enlarge and order.
Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Poinsettia Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Christmas Apron Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Christmas Tree Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Broken Ornament Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - New Year's Eve She Card Invitation
 
Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Sleigh Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Candy Cane Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Reindeer Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Xmas Stocking Card

ShoeStories™ Note Cards
Saints ShoeStories cards Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - French Flat Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Bourbon Street Shoe Card
  Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Siamese SHoe Card
Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Tomato Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Salsa Shoe Card Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - Bloody Mary Shoe Card   Claudia Lynch ShoeStories - No Heels Shoe Card

REVIEWS / RECOGNITION

"While the illustrations are clever, it's the witty narratives, filled with puns, just under-the-covers innuendo and intentional typos, that bring the shoes to life...Tapping into that visceral appeal, Lynch's humorous interpretations are clever, playing with the cultural iconography of shoes as metaphor for feminine constraints, but also female power: Stilettos may be terribly hard to walk in, but they certainly command attention.

---Susan Langenhennig, New Orleans Times-Picayune
CLICK to read the complete article.

"The story of Little Red Riding Hood gets a double treatment in this show. In her three "shoe" pieces, Claudia Lynch depicts highly fetishized shoes whose details are telling. Merging the fairy tale with classic detective noir text, Lynch illustrates a stylized stiletto pump titled Hello, Red. Nice Outfit. Look closely to see that the body of the shoe is depicted as a basket, the red bows at the heel for Little Red Riding Hood's little red hood. Lynch's shoe illustrations are clever; playing with a highly charged piece of adornment, fetishized in different ways by both men and women."

---Amy Bracken Sparks, Angle Magazine

"In fact, funny images and clever wordplay...steal the show. Claudia Lynch, Phyllis Kohring Fannin and Kristen Cliffel use images and text to humorously confront decades-old stereotypes . While the observations are old news, the spins are clever. Each creates an artsy cartoon that's laugh-out-loud funny.

"Lynch, an illustrator, prospects the dames of the 1940's. She paints detailed watercolors of stilettos fashioned out of uber-feminine objects like candy boxes, then pairs them with short narratives typed on an old portable. Her text reads like an excerpt from pulp fiction or Casablanca dialogue."

---Eleanor LeBeau, Scene Magazine

"It's Mickey Spillane in drag!" ---Jimmy Fahrenholtz


GALLERIES
Ariodante Gallery — New Orleans, LA
Bergen-Casell Gallery — New Orleans, LA
Great Artists Collective — New Orleans, LA
Local Girl Gallery — Lakewood, OH
Eye Candy Gallery — Cleveland, OH
Two Plates Full — Scottsdale, AZ
Art & Invention Gallery — Nashville, TN
Isabella's: A Handcrafted Gift Gallery — Metairie, LA

 

All ShoeStories™ images and text © Claudia Lynch 2013.